A fight can be like a forest fire -- a massive conflagration that sets the stage for the next phase in the cycle ...that makes the ground fertile for the next step in evolution. or it can be like a nuclear disaster --leaving a bitter and toxic aftermath that no one knows how to handle.
In either of these scenarios it is important to be centred and compassionate ( stuff which I am ok at ) and also honest ( something I am not so good at). I let stuff accumulate and then discharge it at once then I enter into that cycle again. I am working on it --I am so much more confident about staying with myself and saying what I really feel rather than what is expected of me at that moment . But there is still a lot of work that needs to be done in this regard.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
On Evil
On Evil
There are no bad people in the world ...just unconscious ones . And the more deeply unconscious one is the more one resents the aware the open,the free ,the unafraid. It is so easy to get caught up ...in anger and Fear . So easy to forget .......what our true nature is...so easy to get sucked into the Drama of What Seems that one becomes oblivious to What Is.
I shifted yesterday ...imperceptibly but surely shifted from someone who was being affected by the unhapiness and Unconsciousness around me ...to someone who saw but did not React ,Someone who felt but was not perturbed.
The connection with another human being can be the source of the greatest Joy as also the Greatest Pain. I think the Pain comes when we shift focus from our own center into emotions and the people causing those emotions. Emotions like Life and Maya and the world are ephemereal ..it is our focus on them that makes them real. It is our continual emphasis that gives power to Fear and Anger and Hatred inside ourselves and therefore Outside. The same energy can sow Love and Beauty ...it is the same energy that one can nurture with or destroy with. Each one of us is ourselves Lakshmi the provider of abundance as well as Shiva destroyer of what the eye can see.
It is upto us each moment to choose ... I am sad but aware that for long I have chosen to react to the negative and the unconscious in a typical Fight or Flight response. I am ashamed of it ...but at least aware. It is time to change .....to choose ...and to be aware that there Is a choice !
There are no bad people in the world ...just unconscious ones . And the more deeply unconscious one is the more one resents the aware the open,the free ,the unafraid. It is so easy to get caught up ...in anger and Fear . So easy to forget .......what our true nature is...so easy to get sucked into the Drama of What Seems that one becomes oblivious to What Is.
I shifted yesterday ...imperceptibly but surely shifted from someone who was being affected by the unhapiness and Unconsciousness around me ...to someone who saw but did not React ,Someone who felt but was not perturbed.
The connection with another human being can be the source of the greatest Joy as also the Greatest Pain. I think the Pain comes when we shift focus from our own center into emotions and the people causing those emotions. Emotions like Life and Maya and the world are ephemereal ..it is our focus on them that makes them real. It is our continual emphasis that gives power to Fear and Anger and Hatred inside ourselves and therefore Outside. The same energy can sow Love and Beauty ...it is the same energy that one can nurture with or destroy with. Each one of us is ourselves Lakshmi the provider of abundance as well as Shiva destroyer of what the eye can see.
It is upto us each moment to choose ... I am sad but aware that for long I have chosen to react to the negative and the unconscious in a typical Fight or Flight response. I am ashamed of it ...but at least aware. It is time to change .....to choose ...and to be aware that there Is a choice !
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Getting Back into my Groove
I am just getting back into my groove.....
Long out of the witch's coven have I wandered
My mind taking me to places that do not allow Hearts
My feet taking me to places that do not admit dreams
my fancies taking me to places where there is no room for imagination
Long have I wandered and now --I unfurl my wings
Now I move into a light ignored for long
Now I call my mind and my heart,my feet and my head,my whims and my fantasies
Back to the Womb
Now I AM
Powerful
Mystical
The Creator
The destroyer
Now I am
A woman
A goddess
The White Witch of the Earth
Now I create
Harmony in Dissonance
Loving Radiance in Darkness
now I materialize
The Path of my Soul
Long out of the witch's coven have I wandered
My mind taking me to places that do not allow Hearts
My feet taking me to places that do not admit dreams
my fancies taking me to places where there is no room for imagination
Long have I wandered and now --I unfurl my wings
Now I move into a light ignored for long
Now I call my mind and my heart,my feet and my head,my whims and my fantasies
Back to the Womb
Now I AM
Powerful
Mystical
The Creator
The destroyer
Now I am
A woman
A goddess
The White Witch of the Earth
Now I create
Harmony in Dissonance
Loving Radiance in Darkness
now I materialize
The Path of my Soul
Avatar
I love multi-dimensional movies--movies that touch me . Well I had goose bumps after a long long time .
Avatar works for me at so many different levels ( I sound like a movie critic :))As a fantasy flick it is awe inspiring--the visuals are breath-taking . As a love story it is far from the trite Hollywood formulations ;you can actually see the characters falling in love. But there is so much more. Cameron has retained the sense of wonder that we all have as children and so often lose as adults. He brings this sense of beauty and adventure ,this sense that the innocent is the part that needs to be preserved from the tawdry and the aggressive. Cameron brings this beauty to all he does . It just goes to show that one has to trust one`s creativity,one`s inner Naàvi . It is not going to be an easy ride for the one that believes in working with Nature and that all beings are connected. And I too have a belligerent Jake by my side. But he is learning --gradually but surely he is learning the laws and the subtle signs that come so naturally to me. I get that I have accepted myself. Deeply accepted that this is who I am --that this is what I was made. I alternately think of myself as a Goddess and as a Freak . And yet the no. of freaks are apparently growing. People who believe in Love more than Fear, in Connectedness and Intimacy ,in Life as an Adventure ,in Life as a metaphor -a school to learn. In a God so Big and Beautiful that my mind can perhaps understand but not comprehend completely. In a place inside myself that is pure and connected to the Purest one and to all the souls that are pure but unaware. That is what Avatar is mad of--that is why it was so special.
Avatar works for me at so many different levels ( I sound like a movie critic :))As a fantasy flick it is awe inspiring--the visuals are breath-taking . As a love story it is far from the trite Hollywood formulations ;you can actually see the characters falling in love. But there is so much more. Cameron has retained the sense of wonder that we all have as children and so often lose as adults. He brings this sense of beauty and adventure ,this sense that the innocent is the part that needs to be preserved from the tawdry and the aggressive. Cameron brings this beauty to all he does . It just goes to show that one has to trust one`s creativity,one`s inner Naàvi . It is not going to be an easy ride for the one that believes in working with Nature and that all beings are connected. And I too have a belligerent Jake by my side. But he is learning --gradually but surely he is learning the laws and the subtle signs that come so naturally to me. I get that I have accepted myself. Deeply accepted that this is who I am --that this is what I was made. I alternately think of myself as a Goddess and as a Freak . And yet the no. of freaks are apparently growing. People who believe in Love more than Fear, in Connectedness and Intimacy ,in Life as an Adventure ,in Life as a metaphor -a school to learn. In a God so Big and Beautiful that my mind can perhaps understand but not comprehend completely. In a place inside myself that is pure and connected to the Purest one and to all the souls that are pure but unaware. That is what Avatar is mad of--that is why it was so special.
On Watching "Up and Away"
I have recently enjoyed 2 beautiful movies. Movies that make you laugh while feeling sad and also bring tears of joy into your eyes. I have seen an ode to love and a life of Adventure . "Up" is not so much a story about mortal peril danger and thrill seeking --it was a gentle and humorous reminder that the adventure is Now. The mundane too is to be enjoyed ( along with a healthy dose of fun of course!). This part of my life too is an adventure even if the biggest adrenaline rush I get is when my chhotu potu pees and I rush to catch it :)
D. is a marvel though . Her innocence and her trust in me are making me stretch the limits of my personality. I am learning to just be at the feet of a Master. And the Master is my 18 month old. She is so practised at just taking in the moment,working with what one has and yet being ecstatically happy,being connected and doing all in a cloud of Love so intense it leaves me awestruck. I am privileged to be with her,privileged to have this time ,this magical wonderful rollicking time with the Queen of my Heart !
D. is a marvel though . Her innocence and her trust in me are making me stretch the limits of my personality. I am learning to just be at the feet of a Master. And the Master is my 18 month old. She is so practised at just taking in the moment,working with what one has and yet being ecstatically happy,being connected and doing all in a cloud of Love so intense it leaves me awestruck. I am privileged to be with her,privileged to have this time ,this magical wonderful rollicking time with the Queen of my Heart !
Being outside my Head
Reflecting on what M. said recently--"I just need to be outside my head". It's so true--it's the mind that has us all prisoners. Prisoners of endless "Tark Vitark"(Hindi for point-counterpoint) of never-ending imaginary situations in which we are heroes of course --and everybody else is conjured up to be the villain. Most of the time we don't even realize that our thoughts and the bodily reactions to those thoughts viz emotions are so much in command of our reality. To add to the mess is the fact that most of our circumstances are but manifestation of those schizoid thought processes--they confirm our beliefs because we can rarely ever step out of the Drama our mind has conjured up to look at our Life as a Mirror....of what we believe in . And it takes Practise--That's all it takes ....Determined dogged practise to actually Breathe Stop Feel grateful,Feel Connected and sometimes when I am Graced ---to Feel ONE.
Achieving=Honesty+Self-Esteem
What we achieve in Life is an amalgamation of what we want and what we think we deserve. Getting to what we want isn't very hard except when we are not being honest with ourselves . Getting to what I deserve is also clouded to a large degree by what we THINK is possible and whether we have the self-esteem required to actually take what the Universe in Her abundance continually provides. And that is the crux --in 3 dimensions the path of the Spiritual Warrior is when she looks deep within herself for what she most deeply desires,then looks within herself for all the cues and mis-information that prevents her from getting to those aims .....and finally Fearlessly and Courageously setting out internally and externally on her trusty black steed of Faith to get to whatever Goal she has set out for herself.
The Wings of An Angel
One of the most powerful images from the Movies that has stayed with me recently is the Scene from X -Men 2 ( an unlikely candidate :)) wheere the self-doubting ,tortured boy with Wings of an Angel . The illustration stays with me as a self-doubting ,unsure young mutant with the wings of an angel decides it's time to come to terms with his uniqueness--Nay his Specialness. And it's not easy for him --he is asked to be "normal" mundane by people he looks to understand......but they don't. In a final act of release and rebellion ...he makes peace with WHO HE IS and WHY he is and accepts himself and his unique destiny. Such a wonderful testimonial to all those who like myself have often felt like they were from a different planet and were visiting the wrong one. Who's basic understanding and Spirit appear to be at complete odds with a vast majority of the rest of the world!.Hurrah for the weirdness and the uniqueness of us all.............it might actually save us all :)
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